Ring the bells, lock the doors and relax as Australia prepares for the third episode of 1984.
Episode 03 – February 25, 1984.
Our MC Daryl Somers is looking a bit pale. Only because he’s not wearing anything bright. A shirt that’s a tad… washed.
Could Wilbur Wilde and his Combo studio band help liven him up? Nah… they’re missing a their keyboard player. But the most important thing they need to get across is that Daylight Savings is happening that night. Who else best to explain how it works but Dickie Knee – but not without an odd joke, such as that he has a new dog named Herpies / Herbie – but he never heels / heals. BOOM *tish*.
A quick cameo by Krystal with his various props… just a refresher in case you were wondering who supported Dickie.
Let’s welcome Jacki MacDonald to the show, who is carrying a cartoon puncher prop, and wearing a prop flower that ‘kicks’. (Remember those puncher toys? I had one of those – spent $15 of my birthday money in the early ’90s from a store that copied Granny May’s. Took it to school and punched a bully in the face with it – he went home with a cut gum and I was in detention.)
Musical performance – Eurogliders – Another Day In The Big World. It wasn’t a huge hit for the band – only charting at Number 66, but this was the single just before they released Heaven, their biggest hit – that reached Number 2.
After an ad break, it’s time for Media Watch TV, where the spotlight is on a commercial promoting paper clue. Before they start playing it, Daryl is trying to hold back a laugh, but it’s only because there’s a setup coming for after the ad is shown. With the commercial showing body limbs waving back and forth on the screen, the camera cuts back to Daryl, with his ‘legs’ up – with a quick sting to Monty Python’s Sit On My Face.
Those cheeky buggers.
There’s also an error in the Elton John – Kiss The Bride video clip – apparently it comes down to Elton mucking around with his walking stick. As Elton taps the handle of said stick on the car, the camera cuts back to Elton with his arm up, but the handle is now magically down at the bottom. Continuity, people! You can view the video here:
When you see the error, feel rewarded – you would’ve scored an Acton Table Tennis set.
After the ad break, it’s the gambling game that’s taking Australia by storm: Chooklotto! It’s Draw Number 2, as it was given birth in Episode 01, but not started until Episode 02. Wilbur chimes in with the Chooklotto theme 1/4 of the way through. The winning numbers: 18, 15, 10, 12.
Major prize: Trip for 2 people for a week to Great Keppel Island. Congratulations winner M Davis, of 2 Wallace Ave Donvale 3111. Hope you enjoyed the trip while Jacki was in pain after cutting her finger on the barrel wire.
Time for a musical performance to lead into the ad break: The Delltones – Get A Job. Something very purple about this performance of the 1957 hit.
After the ad break, time for Media Watch Press, but not without a quick plug for The Delltones new album Bop Til You Drop, which they forgot to mention earlier. But then, Ross Wilson of Mondo Rock fame gatecrashes – he’s just arrived from the Elton John concert that’s being performed at the same time that night (as mentioned last episode), which Mondo Rock was a supporting act. Since everyone is around, Ross and Daryl challenge The Delltones with random songs from their album.
The Delltones join Wilbur’s Wilde Band to sing “She boom Sha boom” and “Do Do Run Run”, and “Shout”.
With such live spontaneity, they forgot to do Media Watch Press! So attempt two is made to get the segment going. But not without rattling off some prizes:
- The Squatter Game – Australasian Farming Game
- Dora Soda Syphon
Just as they start the first entry, there’s a cutaway cameo by show photographer Barrie Bell, who has been station photographer for 25 years, and a shout-out to Cameraman Graeme Hunter as it’s his birthday.
A third attempt at the Media Watch Press segment is made after the ad break, and they finally get things going. Such as:
- Janeanne Ots’ entry finally gets a showing which comes down to a typo
- Typo in beauty salon ad
There is a quick cut to Jacki miming “Folks Are Dumb Where I Come From” – getting paid $10 every time she sings it, which is always a running joke with her Queensland background. Ther’s also more in the Press:
- An oddly worded “For Sale” ad on rabbits
- Cattle ad in newspaper
- Typo in clothing article
- Typo in newspaper ad
- Movie review in TV guide
- A job advertisement
Time for a musical performance, with Mondo Rock – Come Said The Boy, who are fresh from performing on stage with Elton John. Said track peaked at Number 2 on the music charts.
Returning from an ad break, it’s time for the Biddleonia Weekly News.
Daryl explains that Biddleonia is a fictitious place and it’s made up so they can do all the foreign jokes (aka racist jokes and accents and claim an Asian accent is Biddleonian).
Last week’s call-out for photos of personal Hey Hey parties have arrived and shown. How thrilling were home parties of the 1980s?
There’s also chats of occupations with funny names, such as a gentleman by the name of Mr B Woof who judges a dog show, and a guy by the name of Les Flood who is a Plumber. Anyway, it’s all wrapped up when all the entries have won a Cluedo boardgame and Ernest Hillier chocolates – all in time for an ad break.
Daryl plugs any novelty acts to audition for what will eventually become Red Faces. Dr Ben Dover (aka Blackman) calls in with a dog joke that goes flat. There’s a mention of a future threat of doing a show from Tokyo. That never comes to fruition, but imagine if that had actually gone down…
Hey! After that ad break, it’s time to refresh your beverage, with Mixing It With Jacki and some live cocktail mixing. Bartender Steven Berger from Wisconsin has flown out from the U.S. as he’s one of the best cocktail mixers in the world, and now is based in Australia.
Who’s up for some tasty liquids?
Rocky’s Remedy cocktail
- 1 ounce Benedictine
- White cream
- Pineapple juice + piece of pineapple
- The rest of the ingredients gets lost in the jargon
- Bacardi Rum
Midnight Summers Dream
- 1 1/2 ounces Brandy
- Egg white
- Pineapple piece
- 3 ounces of Orange Juice
Lucky Phil takes a sip of the Midnight Summers Dream and ‘passes out’.
Ossie hosts by himself and tries to sip a cocktail. Daryl is missing – stepped away to get changed, which calls for an ad break.
Daryl comes back from outside after changing shirt – he has a pouch on the front resembling a kangaroo, which Krystal attacks him from underneath the desk.
Quick joke from Blackman – “Dr Ben here, you do know that in some parts of the Northern Territory, that ‘Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport’ is classified as a love song?” *boom* TISH.
Daryl changed his shirt because Gavin Wood happened to wear the exact same shirt as Daryl… which we’ll see shortly. There’s a quick Moomba Festival plug, followed by a visual performance of The Amazing Mendezies, performing mini stunts. Thrilling stuff.
Coming out of an ad break, time for Gavin Wood’s Pop Report! Yes, he’s wearing a similar shirt to Daryl, but at least he’s covered it up with a leather jacket.
- Elton John / Mondo Rock concerts are going gangbusters
- Pat Wilson (Ross Wilson’s wife) is hot in the U.S. Bop Girl will be released on Monday.
- U.S. band The Gun Club who performed in Australia recently has done a punk cover version of Bop Girl.
- The Bengal Tigers will be special guests on the Uriah Heap national tour
- Preview: Bengal Tigers – Break & Bend
- Steve Wade – A Thousand Birds
- Kenny Rogers – This Woman
- Kenny Loggins – Footloose
- Marilyn – Calling Your Name
In other news:
- The Police are in the country
- Julio Iglesias touring in November
- Sandii and The Sunsetz are performing at a concert in Sydney with Split Enz, The Church, Hoodoo Gurus, QED, and The Johnnys
- Cyndi Lauper – She’s So Unusual
- Dear Enemy – Ransom Note
- Bryan Adams – Cuts Like A Knife
- Frank Sinatra – New York, New York – The Greatest Hits
In more news:
- Fact about Gilbert O’Sullivan: grossed $22m out of album sales
- Gavin received a note – “Wilbur Wire” Wilbur Wilde promoting his gig
- Preview: Frank Sinatra – New York, New York
After a commercial break, it’s time for the Hey Hey It’s Saturday Wheel. As last week’s chosen contestant M. Robertson is unwell to come in, Jacki spins the wheel on her behalf. Some of the prizes she could win are:
- Nissan Pulsar GL Hatchback Sedan valued at $9100
- Auski ski set
- $1200 cash from Deep Heat
- 16 day holiday for 2 via Centralian Staff Holidays exploring Alice Springs
The wheel is spun – lands on Number 11 – $1200 cash from Deep Heat. She just answer the question “Is Queensland north or south of New South Wales”. Apparently that question was too hard, so they went with “How many legs does a dog have?”, which she got right (four).
Other prizes you could win in the future:
- Space heater from Colonial Fireplaces
- Remote Control VCR from Radio Rentals
- Lounge suite from Saba Furniture
M. Robertson also won a gold Timex watch and a Trivial Pursuit boardgames.
Contestant barrel: next week it’s S. Mildenhall from Surry Hills!
One commercial break later, and it’s time for Discussion with Wilde, Pee Wee Wilson, and Donna (Barnes?) – who was a Penthouse Pet of The Year. Insert dated sexist jokes, such as a graphic representing an erection.
Songs up for critque:
- Cliff Richard – Dynamite
Pee Wee – “Top 5”, Wilbur – “Not A Prayer”, Donna – “Top 10”
… and the segment is over, as they’re out of time.
To close up the show, Daryl and the team join Wilbur’s band and go out ‘on a jam’, performing Johnny Be Goode.
At a run time 2 hours, 2 minutes, more people would be still buzzing from the cocktails.
Daryl Somers, Ossie Ostrich, Jacki “Bucketmouth” MacDonald, Soundover Murray Tregonning, Voiceover John Blackman, Wordsover David Ross, All over Gavin Wood ,Krystal and his magic box, Tout and his magic buttons, Wilbur and his magic band, Sir Puffy and his magic horn and Phil and his magic finger.
Viewed on HeyHey.TV via paid subscription.