Crude toilet humour and a history lesson all in one.
I don’t care what you say. Ned is the funniest Australian film in a long time.
Actually, I do care what you say… because you’re here and I need the clicks.
This little doozy of a film is brought to you by the brains of Abe Forsythe, one of the kids from Channel 7’s TV show Always Greener. After that show wrapped, Forsythe recruited his Channel 7 pals and gals to bring you an inaccurate story on Australia’s first premiere outlaw illusionist… Ned Kelly.
Upfront, it’s PURE toilet humour. A laugh a second. Blink, and you’ll miss a punchline or a sight gag. I’m going to try and make the review as vague as possible, so there will be small details I miss as it’ll ruin those scenes if I mention them.
The story starts with a kid hanging out the front of a dodgy theme park based on infamous Australian bushranger Ned Kelly (Forsythe), who ends up meeting what appears to be an old homeless man who ends up telling him a story about a boy who wanted to be a magician, but ended up being an outlaw. The story is told via flashbacks – all of the Kelly children but one dying of syphilis, Ned is the sole survivor after his prostitute mother gives birth, with the doctor (Andrew Daddo) doing the doctor thing.
https://youtu.be/25GeSDjxi5M
On the Kelly and Son Rubber Farm, Ned’s father Mr Kelly (Jeremy Sims) encouraging the boy to stick with the rubber farm and to cease magic tricks. After the Governor’s henchmen threaten the Kelly family to pay taxes they can’t afford, Ned and Dad decide it’s best for Ned to head to Glenrowan with his ‘horse’ Muffy to get some coin. Cue cameo by this guy:
Ned is recruited into the Hughes Gang by Dan Hughes (Nick Flint). While attempting to rob a bank to the theme of Human Nature‘s He Don’t Love You, with witnesses ahoy (Chris Lilley and Michala Banas):
… Ned ends up being an accidental outlaw. With the Hughes gang in hiding, the highly rough and camp British Governor Sinclair (Felix Williamson) sets a mission to find the outlaw and bring justice to the town of Glenrowan, with the help of … translators of the Indigenous and Oriental kind.
After some team bonding and diarrhea, the Gang head to a brothel to spend their wealth. Cue some underage and taboo jokes, even a Moulin Rouge reference, and you a quick-witted funny scene. Ned also falls in love with Muffy (Michala Banas) the whore he has chosen – whom he actually met at the bank robbery at the start of the movie.
Eventually, the Gang (now re-named the Kelly Gang due to the bank robbery and chinese whispers) are hunted down by Sinclair, who eventually reveals the true origin of Ned’s upbringing. Ned’s sent to gaol, and after a cameo by Jason Donovan as Father Thompson, is sentenced to death… with a twist.
There are so many visual and sound gags that it’s hard to accumulate in this article. The movie as released on DVD in 2003, but is now out of print. I did the foolish thing and sold it nearly a year ago (for an unintentional tidy profit, I might add… ) but if you ever find a copy of it – CHERISH IT as it’s worth some decent coin.
https://youtu.be/yTMUCdoV3Qc
I give this film 5 Molly Meldrums.
